The Inquiring Manatee

Changeable Citizenship in the Olympics

     Watching the graceful figure skating pairs in the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics on Sunday, I was struck by one couple in particular: Alexander Smirnov and Yuko Kavaguti of Russia. Their skating was among the best, but what caught my attention was the announcer's note that Kavaguti had given up her Japanese citizenship for Russian citizenship.

     Now, why would anyone in her right mind do that? Why give up the rights and protections of a peaceable democracy, and the cultural comforts of living among her own homogeneous people, for the uncertainties of Vladimir Putin's increasingly authoritarian and undemocratic Russia?     

      Of course, it was because of the Olympic dream, the strength of Russian coaching, the tradition of Russian skating medals and the desire to stick with partner Smirnov. But it seems a high price for this young woman to pay.    

       Kavaguti is not the only ambitious athlete who competes in the winter or summer Olympics for a country that properly should not be considered his or her own. I remember how Zola Budd, seizing upon some long-gone grandfather or great-grandfather, got around sanctions on South Africa during the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics by running for Britain. There's a mogul skier in Vancouver now who was born there but skis for Australia, much to the grumbling of Canadians.

    The Olympics, designed around nationalism, truly are transnational in encouraging athletes to abandon their own flag and rally around the standard of whatever nation will better help them to make it to the starting gate or the starting  line. It all sounds very cynical and opportunistic, but that is the power of Olympic medals and their lure to fame and glory.
    Citizenship lost can be regained, if the abandoned country will accept the apostate back. And in Kavaguti's case, in my opinion, Russia won't have her forever. I'd venture that once her skating career is over, she will apply to reinstate her Japanese citizenship.

   

Blame It On Rio

     Congratulations to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and South America for landing the 2016 Summer Olympics in today's vote by the International Olympic Committee in Copenhagen.

      Chicago's loss in the vote is no more a black eye for the hard-trying President Obama than Madrid's loss is an insult to King Juan Carlos II of Spain (who came in support of Madrid) or than Tokyo's failure to win marks a devastating loss of face for the Emperor of Japan.

      South America simply deserves to hold its first Olympics ever. It's the turn of that mighty continent. Rio will put on a great Games. Next, perhaps, will be Africa (Cairo? Tripoli? Brazzaville?), leaving only Antarctica as the only continent without an Olympics (why not a Winter Games there some time? Um, forget it).      

     Accept your loss, Chicagoans and my fellow Americans. We've had plenty of Olympics, and we will have more in the future. For Brazil, a rising G-20 member, this is a great day. Let us enjoy it with the Brazilians.

Fallout From the Tsunami in American Samoa

      The tsunami tragedy in American Samoa and Samoa is even worse news for fans of the National Football League. The South Pacific U.S. territory and neighboring sovereign nation are where all the linemen with the exotic names come from. I hope all those enormous guys could run fast enough to get to the high ground so they'll be around for next year's college recruiting and NFL draft.

Send This Man to Copenhagen

    

Wonderful, wonderful CO-penhagen, salty old queen of the sea!
                                                  -- "Hans Christian Andersen," The Movie

     If President Obama wants to go to Copenhagen to flog Chicago to the International Olympic Committee, let him go, says I.
     Those who criticize him for his decision -- they say it's unpresidential, it's too much like working for the "Illinois Chamber of Commerce," it risks having him look bad if Chicago loses -- are the same people who said he shouldn't even have dared to make a stay-in-school speech to America's children. Whatever Obama does or proposes, they're automatically against.
     Whether the 2016 Olympics end up in Chicago, Tokyo, Rio or Madrid, these carpers should be lined up in the stadium's javelin target area. Let the throwers heave at 'em.
      Now, personally, I think Rio deserves the Olympics more than Chicago does. No Olympics have ever been held in South America. And the Brazilians know how to throw a party, just as Chicagoans know how to rig an election.
     Oh, sure, there's lots of street crime in Rio, but how about Chicago, where a hapless teenager was beaten to death on the street the other day as a cellphone recorded the Third World scene? You want safety, go to Tokyo. Or maybe Madrid.
     But Chicago is Barack and Michelle's hometown, and if he's still thinking like the junior senator from Illinois that he was, it's hard to shake those habits. The benefits would not accrue merely to Chicago, moreover. It would be a patriotic plus for all Americans to snag another Summer Olympics, even though we had St. Louis in 1904, Los Angeles in 1932 and 1984, and Atlanta in 1996. We need something more to brag about these recessionary days.
     So bon voyage, President Obama. Come back with those quadrennial Games nailed to the wall. And if you don't succeed, you're still not likely to lose Illinois in 2012.

Want to Lose Weight? Forget Dieting.

   

There are news reports out today about a research study published online by the New England Journal of Medicine. It concerns dieting, and after years of study concludes that any diet combination of carbs, fats and proteins is equally effective for weight loss provided that you simply cut the number of calories you ingest.
     Unfortunately, the study misses the point. No diet works alone to lose you weight. You have to exercise, too. 
     In fact, the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to run. Yes, get off your butt and run. Fearful of hurting your little knees? Go to a drugstore and buy Spandex knee guards. They work well for protection, and will actually cure knee pains.
     Start by walking around the block. Build up to runs of 50 yards at a time. Keep it up. Before you know it, you'll be running a mile at a time. Then go up gradually to two miles. Then three. Enjoy your first 5-K (3.1-mile) race in the company of hundreds of other runners. Or just run by yourself, always facing traffic if you run on the roads.
     You don't have to run any more than 20 miles a week to get maximum aerobic benefits from running, which are considerable. So work up to that.
     Running will shed the weight off you as if you've had liposuction. It works quickly.
     And it's the only thing that works. The only thing.

Dangling Over the Snow

          

He's the hero of the Internet and the typical American of the moment: naked, exposed, freezing and desperately hoping for rescue. He's the Unknown Chairlift Victim, pictured on this blog in my "Political Photo Album" to the right, under the title "Pantsless Skier." But you already know about him. He's world-famous by now -- passed from London's Daily Mail website to the Huffington Post and msnbc.com, and now to the Manatee.
    If you've ever skied, you can't look at this poor devil, embarrassed for 7 long minutes in front of his young child, the amazed female and male Vail aides who work to free him and the other skiers snapping pictures nonstop, without experiencing a "there but for the grace of God" moment. I've had many disasters getting on and off chairlifts over the years -- nothing this bad, mostly clumsy and sometimes slightly injurious flops -- and I can readily identify with this guy.
    In fact, with two days of skiing coming up this weekend at Mammoth Mountain in California's Sierra Nevada, I'll be very nervous on the lifts. And I'm sure everybody I ride with will be talking about it -- laughing, but with due compassion, I hope.
    As Sonny Bono and that Kennedy who also ran into a tree could tell you, ski areas can be hazardous to your health. Let's be careful out there. And let's especially check those chairs for proper positioning as they swing around and we prepare to board.
    The only remaining question: Does the pantsless skier bring a lawsuit against Vail? (Arguably, somebody on the chairlift crew was negligent.) Or does he preserve what remains of his anonymity and slink away?
    I'd take the course of discretion. To publicize his name in court records would be to follow the example of former U.S. Senator Robert Scott of Virginia. Years ago, Scott was named the dumbest member of the Senate by a relatively obscure magazine -- and then called a news conference to deny he was stupid.